Losing my Humanity
by eternal-love23
Summary: One-shot. From the time Danny is sent to live with Vlad and the time that he turns into Dan Phantom, we get few details on what exactly occurred. This story is going into more details about what exactly happened, from a mixture of Danny and Vlad's POV.


LOSING MY HUMANITY

Vlad Masters waited solemnly outside his large mansion. He had heard the utmost devastating news of his life. His only love, Maddie, was killed in an explosion. Not only was she killed, but her husband Jack, their daughter Jazz, and two others who were supposedly best friends of Danny Fenton were killed also. And from what the billionaire heard, Danny witnessed the entire thing. The pain Vlad was going through was insurmountable, and yet he hadn't even seen the horrid event that brought the forty-year-old to the front of his mansion.

Danny, without any other family members, was by Jack and Maddie's will, to live with him. Vlad quickly agreed, seeing as the young boy had nowhere else to go, and just perhaps he was the only one who could understand what Danny was going through. Not just that they both lost a huge part of their life, for Danny it was his entire life, but the fact that they both were half-ghost hybrids. They were the only one's Vlad knew that existed, so who better to care for a half-ghost hybrid, than a half-ghost hybrid?

Sure, they may be mortal enemies, but Vlad was willing to forget all about it if Danny was. The only reason they were enemies was because Vlad was jealous that Danny was Jack and Maddie's. But that all changed.

Vlad's thoughts were quickly interrupted by the sound of a car engine approach his mansion. He looked up and saw a taxi arrive at the foot of the stairs, where Vlad was. He descended the stairs quickly and opened the passenger door. What he saw would haunt him for the rest of his life.

It was Danny, but it wasn't really Danny. The Danny he knew was a sarcastic fourteen year old, fifteen now; his birthday was a week after "the event", and always had that sarcastic smirk to his face. But now, it looked as if nothing was there. His black hair was disheveled more than ever; his ice-blue eyes looked empty, like the only thing that he was feeling at that moment was pain and sadness, and the dark purple circles under them didn't help either. He looked as if he had lost an unhealthy amount of weight.

Vlad put a comforting hand on Danny's shoulder, and helped him out of the taxi. Meanwhile, the taxi driver had taken all of Danny's possessions and set them in front of the stairs. Vlad gave the taxi driver his money, and a fifty dollar tip, and the taxi drove off. Now all that was left was Danny and himself.

Danny had moved since Vlad last saw him. He was now standing in front of his suitcases, and it appeared as if he was looking at something. Vlad walked over and stood next to him, and looked to see what he was holding. It was a picture of everybody- except Danny- that just died. There was Jack, Maddie, Jazz, Danny in the middle, and then to Danny's left were his two friends. The frame was shaking under Danny's hands, so Vlad put a hand on the frame to help still it.

Without saying a word, Danny looked up into Vlad's eyes, and Vlad looked down. Danny's eyes were now red from crying, and they were looking up at him as if he was trying to ask Vlad why this was happening to him. Why he was the only survivor, and why everyone he loved had died. Vlad tried to give him a comforting smile, but Danny looked away from him and back to the photo, knowing now that Vlad didn't have the answers. No one did.

"Let's bring your things inside, Danny." Vlad said softly. He grabbed the two heaviest looking suitcases, and the only thing left was Danny's backpack. Danny grabbed it robotically, and followed Vlad inside his new house.

Danny didn't look around the wondrous mansion; he kept his eyes glued to the photo. Vlad hadn't expected anything more from someone who just lost everything. Inside, he was about as broken as Danny in a way. But he had to remain strong for the child that he was looking after now.

After they walked up a flight of stairs and down a long hallway, Vlad finally arrived at a pair of double doors. He set a suitcase down and opened one of the doors. He picked the suitcase up again and walked into the large bedroom. The walls were a grayish black, with furniture to match. A king sized bed lay in the middle of it, and to the west of it, was a large window overlooking the over-grown yard and even pond with the sun reflecting off of it.

Danny didn't care about any of it.

Vlad put the suitcases down at the foot of the bed, and turned to see that Danny was right behind him. His sad eyes cascading around the room, disinterested. He was still clutching the picture frame.

"I'll leave you to your bedroom." Vlad said quietly. Danny gave a slow nod, and with a comforting pat on the shoulder, Vlad walked out of the room.

Before he could shut the door, he heard a body collapse on the bed, and it started to sob.

xXx xXx xXx xXx

_It's all my fault. It's all my fault. It's all my fault. It's all my fault. It's all my fault._ The thought kept running through Danny's head the entire time he looked at the photo of his beloved ones. He knew that he shouldn't be looking at the picture, the one thing that reminded him of what happened, but he couldn't help it. It was his fault that everything he cared for died. If he hadn't been as stupid as to think he would cheat on the C.A.T.'s, then they would still be alive. It wasn't even an argument. They would be alive.

All the events leading to him cheating truly revealed he was the sole purpose of their demise. He cheated, which caused his teacher to meet his parents at the Nasty Burger, who had an old boiler that was about to overheat and explode, and then his older and evil self turned up to make sure that he had cheated so his evil fate was sealed; pummeled him, and causing his sister and friends to get mixed in the middle, trying to save him. But he didn't deserve to be saved. He knew that now. Then the Nasty Burger blew up. Instantly killing everybody, and having Danny watch the entire thing, just out of reach of the killer explosion. His evil self disappeared after that, probably to his own time, but Danny was too shocked to notice. He was frozen in place, while he watched the burning restaurant, now a collapsed piece of nothing.

His fate was now sealed. He worked so hard to prevent from turning into his evil self, but at this point he didn't even care anymore. Everyone was gone, so what was the point trying?

It was his evil one's fault! Because of him, they're dead! Because of him, _he_ was dead! The pain was radiating throughout his body, and he couldn't handle it anymore. He gathered all of his energy and chucked the picture at the door, causing the glass to shatter. He collapsed back on the bed, and he continued to sob. He clutched his head which was throbbing, and tried to make the pain to go away.

At times like this when he was in his darkest hour, he would turn over to his ghost side, so that the pain seemed less. When he was a ghost, the pain didn't seem as much. Yet there was still that human half that interfered with him feeling nothing. But still it helped.

He stood up from the bed, and he instantly phased into his ghostly self. He no longer had black hair and blue eyes, his hair was now a snowy white, and his eyes were fluorescent green. He was also wearing a black and silver jumpsuit, courtesy of Sam. He shook his head. It was a good thing he had fazed to his ghost half. Even now when he was a ghost, he felt less. Human emotions seemed so little to him, and yet he still felt them. He tried to shake it off, but it was like a fly in the room. Even though you try to ignore it, it was still there.

Danny lifted off the ground, looked out to the grounds of the mansion, and decided to fly around. He phased through the window, and looked around at everything below him. He could do anything he wanted, yet he knew that he would have to go back to his human side sometime, and face reality. But he didn't have to do it right now. Danny flew to the top of the house, and sat on the roof. He could have done this for a lifetime. There were no problems he had to deal with, all he could do was be a ghost, fight evil ghosts, and prevent himself from turning into that evil future for the rest of his life. This thought ran through his head at least one hundred times a day, and yet here he was, still phasing back and forth between humanity and insanity.

Danny watched the scenery around him slowly grow blacker as the sun retreated behind the trees behind him. He continued to sit in the same spot on the roof, doing nothing. To him, he felt better being emotionless, than feeling everything. He couldn't handle it. He could handle doing and feeling nothing, though.

A soft thud came from behind, and Danny turned around to see Vlad in his ghostly state. He was blue, had spiky black hair, fangs, and a cape. He seemed so much more powerful than Danny was, something which Danny was envious of.

"How long have you been up here?" Vlad asked Danny as he flew over and sat next to the boy.

Danny shrugged, "All day, maybe." he listened to his voice and his eyes widened. He couldn't remember the last time he talked, and his voice was so weak.

Vlad nodded, "You can't handle it either?" he asked. "The depression?"

Danny didn't reply he just shook his head.

Vlad and Danny continued to sit in silence, and soon they were sitting in total darkness. The stars were out, but Danny hardly gave it a thought. However, his stomach betrayed him and it started rumbling.

Vlad gave a sad smile, "Hungry? Come on, I have dinner ready. I just wanted to give you time." He said. He rose from the roof, and started descending into the house through the roof.

"It hurts too much." Danny whispered.

Vlad stopped lowering into the house, and flew back up to him. A worried expression etched on his face. "What do you mean, my boy?" he asked.

"When I'm human, all I can think about is how much I hate myself for what I did. How I'm all alone. But when I'm a ghost, most of that goes away." Danny confessed. "But it's still there. Haunting me, making me want to go back just so I can be miserable. Because I know I deserve it."

"Time passes and I'm sure with time it will come easier for you." Vlad said, "But you just lost so many people that you cared about, you can't be expected to not feel the pain."

Danny looked at Vlad. From what Vlad saw, there was hardly any pain in his eyes, and it was all because he was in his ghostly form. But when he returned to his human half, he knew that it was going to be there again. Slowly, Danny nodded. He stood up, and fell straight through the roof, and ended back up in his room.

Vlad soon followed behind him, and he phased back to his human form. Vlad turned and saw Danny. He was looking at Vlad, and he was clearly frightened. Danny didn't want to hurt anymore. When he was his ghostly self, it was almost all better. But he had to learn how to cope, how to let go. Danny sighed in defeat and phased back to his human self. As if right on cue, all the emotions started coming back to him, and he gasped at how much he was hurting. He always forgot how horrible he felt after he spent so much time not caring.

He held it together and looked at Vlad, "Dinner?" he asked emotionlessly.

Vlad snapped out of his trance and opened the door, "Yes, dinner is downstairs." He held the door open for Danny, and he walked out stiffly and waited for Vlad to show him the way. Vlad walked in front of him, and walked him all the way to the dining room. Danny followed behind silently, trying not to think of the hurt.

xXx xXx xXx xXx

The dinner between the two was always a silent one. Neither talked, and neither felt the need to start a conversation. And when Vlad, never Danny, tried to start a conversation, Danny's replies always consisted of one-worded replies. Danny never spoke more than he had to.

It would be like this for a month.

Danny would sit on the roof all day as a ghost, Vlad would find him and say that dinner was ready, and the two would share a silent dinner. After that, Danny would give the butler his dishes from dinner, and he would retreat to his bedroom. Vlad felt so horrible for him. He couldn't do anything to help Danny; he just wanted Danny not to hurt. Vlad's bedroom was right next to Danny's, and when that time came that Vlad went to bed, he would lay awake and listen to Danny sob, unable to fall asleep. After Danny became too exhausted to stay awake anymore, he would pass out. It wouldn't be long, though, before the nightmare's that invaded Danny's dreams every night woke him up, screaming.

The hurt in his cry was so painful, at times it would make Vlad cry. He was completely useless, and he could tell that the pain in Danny's eyes was not going away, and with each passing day it was getting harder and harder for Danny to return to his human self.

Danny just wanted the human emotions to stop dragging him down.

During one evening, Danny and Vlad were sitting in their usual spots in the dining room, and silently finishing their meal, not making a sound, just listening to the clatter of the plates. It was business as usual.

Except this time, Danny spoke.

"I can't do it anymore." He said as he dropped his spoon, his voice cracking.

Vlad looked up in surprise at the sound of Danny's voice, and cleared his throat, "What do you mean?" he asked.

"The human emotions. The pain. The guilt. It's getting too hard to deal with." He replied. "Isn't there anything you can do to make it go away?" he pleaded.

Vlad thought for a moment, and a thought clicked in his head. But it was too dangerous. Too risky to even think of doing it on a teenager, let alone full-grown human being. But the look in Danny's eyes made him overlook everything. If Vlad wasn't going to help him take the pain away, Danny was going to find a way to do it on his own. "Well, there are the ghost gauntlets." He offered.

Danny's eyes turned to confusion, "I don't get it." He said simply.

"The ghost gauntlets rip apart things, right?" he asked.

Danny nodded, still not comprehending.

"Well, the main difference between your human self and your ghost self is what?" Vlad asked Danny.

"When I'm human, I feel emotions and reason. But when I'm a ghost, I rely more on instincts and survival; no emotions." Danny responded, feeling like something was about to all come together, but he couldn't quite reach it.

"So, what would happen if I split your human self with your ghost self?" Vlad inquired, almost positive that Danny would catch on then.

Vlad was right, and the light bulb clicked in Danny's head, and he swiftly stood up, showing more life than he had in the past month, as opposed to a walking zombie. "I wouldn't feel anymore emotions! Can you do that?" he asked quickly. He paced quickly to Vlad, and looked at him with determination.

Vlad was surprised by his swiftness, and nearly choked on his glass of wine, "Well I suppose. But it's extremely difficult, and might not work." He tried to reason.

"I don't care. I can't take it anymore. Please, Vlad." He begged quickly, "Just make it go away." He whispered, the tears coming and threatening to pour over his face.

Vlad couldn't take it anymore. He stood from his meal and helped Danny up. "I'll do it." He whispered.

Danny looked up at Vlad, but it wasn't with happiness. No, he lost that a long time ago. But it was the closest thing to happiness that Vlad was going to get. It was more hope than anything. Hope that possibly he wasn't going to have to hurt anymore, to have to feel that pain he constantly felt when he was a weak human.

"Can we do it now?" Danny asked, looking curiously up at Vlad from the floor.

Vlad looked at Danny with shock, "_Now?_" he repeated, completely bewildered by Danny's unusual request. "You want to try _now_?"

"I'm on the verge of losing it, Vlad. I don't know how much longer I can take it." Danny admitted hopelessly.

Vlad sighed, "Ok."

xXx xXx xXx xXx

Vlad walked out of the dining room and walked into the private library, with Danny right on his heels. Vlad opened the secret notch, a small bust of his head that tilted back to reveal a button, which he pushed and one of his library shelves filled with books slid into the wall to reveal stairs that descended indefinitely. They both walked down them, and soon found a laboratory with just about every ghost related weapon Danny could think of. There was also a hospital gurney alongside a large number of medical supplies. Danny went to it quickly, and laid on it, eager for it all to just end.

Vlad sighed, and walked over to a closet where he kept scrubs and masks for experimental purposes. He put them on and went over to where Danny was waiting impatiently. There were straps on the sides, and Vlad bound them across Danny's body. Once that was done, Vlad retrieved the anesthesia, and returned back to Danny.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Vlad begged, trying to convince Danny to change his mind one more time.

"Please." Danny begged.

It was the last thing he said before Vlad finally gave up. He put the anesthesia mask over Danny's mouth and nose. Slowly, Danny's eyes closed, and then by monitoring his heart on the heart monitor, it was apparent that he was under the anesthesia.

Vlad grabbed the ghost gauntlets, and walked woodenly over to Danny. He couldn't believe he was ripping Danny's humanity out, but it was heart-breaking to watch Danny everyday just trying not to end it all. Every day was a race against time. And his time ran out. It was the only solution to what seemed like an impossible puzzle.

"I'm so sorry, Danny." Vlad whispered, the ghost gauntlets expanded, revealing long knife-like fingers, and then plunged the gloves through Danny's chest. He pulled out, but not before grabbing something inside. As Vlad pulled out the gauntlets from Danny's chest, Danny's ghost form was coming out too. Soon, the human Danny and then the ghost Danny were completely separated.

It worked.

The ghost Danny opened his eyes to reveal how sinister, emotionless, and angry they were. These were not Danny's eyes. This ghost half didn't feel emotions; it only thought how to survive. It lived on instincts. It was an animal.

Suddenly, the ghost Danny grabbed the ghost gauntlets and thrusted them out of his body and throwing them, causing Vlad to spiral through the air and hit the wall opposite him with a sickening crunch, breaking much of his bones.

Vlad looked up weakly, and saw that the Ghost-Danny was right above him. "Danny, it's me. Vlad." He tried to reason. Vlad was utterly confused. He didn't think that this would happen, something like this _shouldn't_ happen. It was inhumane.

"No," Ghost-Danny replied darkly, "You're my enemy. You're the one ghost who always beat me, who was always better than me."

"No, no!" Vlad begged, trying to reason with him.

In a flash, Ghost-Danny disappeared, but returned, and he was wearing the ghost gauntlets. The fingers elongated and he flexed them powerfully, testing their effectiveness.

"What are you doing?" Vlad screamed.

Ghost-Danny picked Vlad up off the ground, and held him over his head, "Eliminating the competition." He growled, and suddenly, Ghost-Danny ripped Vlad's ghost self and human self apart, just as Vlad has done to him previously.

Vlad's ghost self looked up in confusion, but not before Ghost-Danny entered Vlad's once other ghost half. The two ghost halves, Vlad's being evil and powerful, and Danny's being good and growing, started mixing, it proved disastrous. Vlad's evil half proved too much for Danny's good half, so all good in Danny's ghost half was lost completely, and the evil utterly overwhelmed the good.

An ear-splattering scream came from the evil Danny as the two ghosts' became one and the human Vlad cowered in the corner watching the entire thing. Suddenly, Danny's ghost image was changing. Now his skin was blue, his hair was now a white fire, and he was growing fangs. He stopped screaming after what seemed like forever, and opened his eyes to reveal that they were no longer fluorescent green, but a blood red color.

The human Danny, having been thrown off the gurney after Vlad split him from his ghost half, sat cowering next to Vlad. Ghost-Danny turned around and found Vlad and his former self sitting helpless against the new ghost. Ghost-Danny grinned wickedly at the two mere humans, and looked over to the anesthesia machine, which was leaking. Slowly, it was heading towards a candle that sat burning a few inches from it.

The human Vlad understood instantly that if the anesthesia reached the fire, the entire house would explode, and both he and Danny would die. Unfortunately, the ghost thought of that way before Vlad did, and when Vlad weakly began crawling towards the flame and tried to blow out the candle, the new Danny grabbed Vlad's head and wacked it against his once human self, instantly knocking them both out cold.

The new Danny gazed upon the fire, and knew instantly that he only had a few seconds before the mansion would explode, so he went intangible, and flew out of the house at lightning fast speed. Once he was at a safe distance, he spun around and watched emotionless at the huge explosion, and the house was instantly destroyed. The competition eliminated. He felt nothing as he watched his humanity and everything that was once sane destroyed.

The new Danny laughed wickedly, and sped off towards his new life without emotion, guilt, or humanity.


End file.
